Understanding men in relationships

Women often struggle with a man in a relationship because they do not understand their actions, and to them, the actions seem contradictory to their words. The following are a few examples, and how to understand them:

Example one: "He says he loves me, and finds me attractive, but he never compliments me."

This is a common misunderstanding for women when it comes to men. For a woman, if the man finds her attractive, he would tell her all the time. For a man, if he has told her once, then she knows, so why should he tell her again? This is a fundamental difference between men and women. Sometimes, when a man offers a woman a compliment she downplays it, minimizes it, or rejects it. If she does this, he is not going to want to offer them anymore because she is not going to accept them anyway. It is not because he does not care, or does not find you attractive, but because by not accepting their compliments, you are rejecting them. So, if you want him to compliment you, tell him that you want and need it on a regular basis, and then when he does compliment you, accept it, reward him with a smile, and make sure he knows you feel good so he will want to do it again.

Example two: "When I ask him what he is thinking, he either does not answer, says "nothing", or makes up something stupid."

This is a common misunderstanding between men and women. When a woman asks a man what he is thinking, she does it in order to bond and grow closer to him. She sees the communication and sharing of thoughts as an intimate act. For a man, he often is not clear on his thoughts, or has strange, embarrassing, or personal thoughts that he does not want to share. It has nothing to do with you, or his liking you, but with his not wanting to share. Other times he may not share because he does not think he can do it without you interrupting him, so it is easier to just say, "Nothing." It keeps the peace, and leaves him feeling much better about you. So, if he says "Nothing" take it as a compliment or a respect to you that he does not want to offend you, get frustrated with you, or he just does not know.

Example three: "When we get in a fight, he pulls away."

For a woman, nothing is more confusing. When girls get mad at each other, the way they make up is they spend time together, talk it out, and work out their differences. This is not how it works for men. Men often need some time to themselves to sort it out in their head and cool down so that they do not say something that they will alter regret.  Respect it.

If you can remember these things, you will understand men better!